Some Mommy Thoughts

“I don’t need to dream anymore. My life is better than any dream I could ever have.”
have you ever…
had that moment when you look at your child and think wow, I could not have pictured how great this would be? I mean really… people tell you about the unconditional love, the wearing your heart outside your chest on a tiny human, the sheer joy of being a mom. 
But you really don’t know it until it actually happens to you.
Growing up I knew one day I would be a mom. But I truly can’t say I pictured my life this way. Getting to stay home 90% of the time with my son is the biggest blessing I didn’t even realize I wanted or was missing out on. Don’t get me wrong… I absolutely love that we are fortunate enough right now for me to be able to be home with him so much. 
It’s like every day is the weekend around here. PARTY!
But there are days when I wonder if I’m missing out? Do I still want a “career” one day? Sure. Do I have any idea in what? Nope. {maybe when I grow up I’ll figure that one out} Truthfully though I think back to my childhood {which was freakin awesome} and I remember how hard my parents worked. The alternate shifts for many years so they didn’t have the high cost of childcare. When one of them was laid off and we didn’t even realize things were tight. It just seemed like we got extra time with that parent. Both of my parents worked so hard to provide for us. I don’t feel as we ever missed anything as children, young adults or even adults for that matter. My mom has always strived to advance her career, is a excellent role model as a woman in a leadership position, and she was a super mom on top of it all. I ask myself do I want that? It’s safe to say… not right now. Probably because I’m really unsure of the type of career I truly want to pursue. I have the utmost respect for working moms & stay at home moms alike. Both jobs are equally difficult in their own way. I just waiver on what would make me happy to actually do every single day. Is it something that is in line with my degree, should I get more schooling, or do I want to start my own business? Thankfully I don’t have to make that decision just yet. I truly feel so lucky that hubby supports this and that we are blessed enough to make it possible at this point in our lives. I do my best to not take it for granted. 
It is absolutely crazy to think of not being a mom. I’m not sure I really remember life pre-Cash, but that could just be because I’m stuck in a sleep-deprived, pregnant brained, 1 cup of coffee a day haze right now with a child who truly reminds me of the sour patch kids commercials lately. {No seriously… one minute he is channeling sour and the next so sweet} If I wasn’t so darn tired I could decide whether or not to pull out my hair, cry or just laugh. 
At this point in my life I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 
{which currently is sitting on the couch pretending my 2 year old isn’t actually driving his trucks & cars all over our flat paint walls and destroying them. Note to all parents: get the semi-gloss!!}
Lucky me… I wouldn’t change a thing.
Hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve Eve! 

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